Mary was married with children, had the perfect suburban life..

I heard something yesterday that I thought at one point in time was all I ever wanted to hear.  I knew how things would play out and the way the story would go if it would just take that turn for the better.  If those words could just be spoken, if what I dreamed could only be confirmed, life would be beautiful. Then... The words came out and I was frozen.  Somewhere inside myself I felt the overwhelming warmth of love. True, genuine, love.  The kind of love that hasn't been damaged by society and circumstance.  But on the surface in my real self it brought the strangest sense of self actualization.  The understanding that I was only going to be enough for someone who didn't need anything.  That I was only going to feel this love from people who did not have it to give.  Then immediately I went to the responses that were appropriate for the situation.  I can remember going through that same process once before on a much larger level.  The feelings of that time were proven to be nothing but fabrications.  Lies. Burdens. Now I sit here today and I wonder if everything I had yesterday fits in the same category.  I mean obviously it does.  I never had the first, I never had the second.  But in the moment that I heard those words on both occasion I was able to believe it and allow it to be true for a brief time.  Those cumulative 10 seconds may be the best 10 seconds of my life outside of motherhood.  What I wouldn't give to be able to provide the same for someone else.. I say someone.. but we know who it is..