Here Comes the Bride?!

This starts off as a true story.. an replay of events that I have found myself fixed on lately.. As I turned the corner you were already standing where the two halls met, waiting. 8:15am on the dot, every morning. I walked up and we turned to the patio with that awkward sideways hug and our normal morning pleasantries.
I took my seat, first bench at the second table. You took yours on top of the table with your feet occupying the space next to me. I looked up into your eyes as you started the morning conversation. I heard her name and prepared my response in the back of my mind. I was ready for another tale of how she made you feel worthless or how you thought she was cheating. I was all ready to tell you how you deserved better. I thought I was prepared for what was about to come out of your mouth because I had been through this exact scenario with you at least 3 times a week for about 4 months. I didn't even have to listen anymore, I could count your freckles and watch you smile and I would still be ready with an uplifting speech when it was my turn. Wait.. did you just say proposed? Engaged??!! Were you looking at me waiting for an excited shriek and an immediate congratulations? Something must have gone horribly wrong, I didn't hear it right.. Shocked? Well thats one word.. Shocked.. disappointed... crushed..
Come to the wedding.. ? This is where the replay stops and my media player of my mind fills in what should have happened.. This is where my regret is manifested by the words that should have come flowing in this moment in time..
I'm sorry, I can't. I won't. She doesn't deserve you. You deserve better. We deserve a chance. I want to make you feel wanted! I love you. I'm not even going to begin to say I'm "in love" with you.. I don't even know if thats true and to use that in this moment would be cruel and unfair but I could.. given the opportunity. I kept telling myself that you knew it was there, just under the surface and you choose not to acknowledge it because you're happy in the life you have.  I kept saying I would always keep it inside and you would never know.. but you aren't happy.. and even if the words were never spoken we would both always know. Before I can let you close this door I have to make sure you know its open..
You said only this "I'll be at your house at 7" I didn't see you again all day. My stomach turned and my eyes glistened. I didn't know how to feel or think or what would happen.  Normal was over, routine had passed.. this was unchartered and I hate being out of control.. and I've never felt so out of control in my life..
The time came and the doorbell rang.. I opened the door, there you were.. You stepped in and opened your arms, I fell into them feeling that things were different because they were absolutely the same.